The world ebbs and flows
as time trickles
like sand between my toes.
Moments softly crushed underfoot.
Forgotten.
Wish you were here
to share this now
breathe the wind
and feel the noise.
Your skin glistens in the sun
like something beautiful.
The wind whips away
the unsaid words.
Hush. Just breathe. Live. Be.
Becoming can wait,
and so can tomorrow.
The fisherfolk are heading out to sea;
today, they cast their nets
for happiness.
Wish you were here
to steal this moment and
hide it away in the folds of memory.
It will shine through your smile
and in my eyes
and this moment will never be
crushed under the weight of time and
forgotten.
Untitled. 
Woot!
Undoubtedly your first and only poem I enjoyed. I could feel the rhythm and also could connect with much of what was being said.
Though I’m no poet, and hence don’t expect me to get hidden subtexts – if any, but I would say that this was far less abstract than your earlier ones where I just could not finish even the first six lines! 🙂
Please do write more like this, but I guess it’s impossible to classify your own poems under certain “types”. Anyways, I’m waiting…
Chittz: Ankush, I’m glad you liked this one 🙂
Pink Floyd + Coldplay. Thrown in some rhyme I see.
Chittz: Sigh. Doesn’t it just suck when after thinking up of something all by yourself, you realize someone else had done it all before?
Was trying half-rhymes. It ended up half-baked.
you see, as pamuk says in his Black Book,talking about doing artistic things earlier and later is futile since it is like saying if it is nine o’clock morning here in India,it means we are ahead of the US where it would still be night or vice versa.
The poem is nice,indeed,esp the third stanza!
Chittz: Hm. So all original thought is simultaneous? or is the just the debating futile? Thank you for dropping by!
there is actually no such thing like original thought, although that doesn’t mean you use that knowledge,like mahesh bhatt,to steal story ideas from hollywood!
what I mean is that basically,we have themes. the theme of your poem is absence. you take a line from somewhere,easily accesible,like hendrix would take a riff from clapton and jamm over it. That’s what you have done in my opinion and it has come out well. The rythm is fine, you have a feel for words – i read some other stuff of yours also- and i like the way you use the metaphor you pick up in the first stanza and get back to it in the last altho i would need more readings to appreciate your attempt at half-rhymes. maybe,you can alert me to them?
Chittz: Hm. I agree about the universal themes (we can even take a swing at Jung’s archetypes) but I think originality comes from how you mix in everything that has been created before – how you throw in the details, tweak it a little here and little there, to make it something different.
Hm. I felt the flow was off in some places, especially in the last two stanzas. Good to know its otherwise.
Hope you have fun wandering around the blog. I did run across yours as well. You’ve got some excellent book reviews in there.
i notice ‘flows’ and toes’; ‘be’, ‘sea’ and ‘memory’ after another reading. it works fine.
thanks for the compliment!
Chittz: You’re welcome!
how you mix in everything that has been created before – how you throw in the details, tweak it a little here and little there, to make it something different.
Well and use your experiences too. 😛
Chittz: Ahem. Are you trying to hint at something Kaber?
i totally agree with the 1st comment1 def one of your non abstract ones. simple, feel good and rhythmic! keep writing more of the “meant to understand” ones!
Chittz: To tell the truth, I rarely choose what ‘kind’ of stuff I write. Strange things in my head order the words strangely, in a way it makes perfect sense to me. Whether it makes sense to anyone else is another matter. Glad you liked it, and thank you for dropping by.
hint at something? er, not really.