A flick of the slick knife
cuts away the wheeze of clinging clauses
and the whirling worlds of wordy wonders
are slashed with a snickettysnack chop chop
into a pile of well ordered ideas
dropped with a thud onto a page.
The truncated stubby ends of sentences heal
under the crack of fresh mint full stops
free from the granulous gangrene of verbosity.
With no bombastic ballast the words go
flap-flap-flapittyflap and soar away
into the horizon of a new thought.
The abandoned ideas flip away
and flop into the dark corner in your head
where they gyre and spiral like
chickens with their heads cut off.
Tick turns to tock as they wait for the
clunk to click into a new beginning.
12 responses so far ↓
Vishy // 27 July, 2009 at 6:25 pm |
Nice poem! I was looking for a mention of ‘adjectives’ being slashed, somewhere
enjundia // 27 July, 2009 at 9:20 pm |
jeez, u remind me of my editor when he sat down to write his biography. but poignant…loved the imagery of a tick turning into tock
Ankush // 28 July, 2009 at 1:25 pm |
Okay, this was a mixed one for me. We all can relate to the process of editing — trying to improve the last draft. For me, however, the poem was a bit heavy on words, with no apparent advantage.
Perhaps it’s just the way you write, or just the way I read.
Me // 30 July, 2009 at 10:15 am |
the poem surely needs no chop chop! brilliant.
Ankush // 30 July, 2009 at 11:17 am |
Who is this sledging my opinions–which I am entitled to by birthright–instead of offering her own?
Me // 1 August, 2009 at 10:12 am |
if you are pointing a finger at me i meant no offense at all. writing off comments is definitely a blogger’s birthright.
i just think we have very different views about chittz’s writings.
toymango // 2 August, 2009 at 10:15 pm |
I loved the ironic use of heavy verbiage in a poem about editing. Different from most other stuff of yours that I have read so far…thanks for writing, as always, no matter whether you hate me for being “anal about grammar”
Ankush // 3 August, 2009 at 6:00 am |
Why has everyone shifted their focus to “verbiage”? Goes to show how biased we become after reading previous comments.
Tanmoy // 3 August, 2009 at 9:31 pm |
Ankush, you give yourself too much credit! Isn’t it possible that “verbiage” is indeed the fulcrum?
Ankush // 3 August, 2009 at 9:42 pm |
Might be, but just read the comments trail from above and you can’t help feeling . . . .
By the way, relax! The issue is not as serious as you are making it.
Ramya Ranee // 11 August, 2009 at 3:16 pm |
“a pile of well ordered ideas
dropped with a thud onto a page.” – Wonderful arrangement. I enjoyed the wordplay Chittz.
Nishant // 14 August, 2009 at 3:26 pm |
Pretty good. I wonder how it would sound when read aloud.